Top Ten Signs the United States Is Running Out of Money

Too bad this is too close to the truth!

10. For $10,000, you get your face on the dollar
9. The White House now has a two-drink minimum
8. There's a listing on eBay for North Dakota
7. Barack Obama sold his Nobel Prize to 'Cash4Gold'
6. Americans now attempting to sneak into Mexico
5. Renting Biden's house to backpacking German tourists
4. Costs $25 for each bag the president wants to check on Air Force One
3. John Boehner getting paid in beach bum tanning gift cards
2. Country is moving in with England until we get back on our feet
1. Applied for a $40 billion loan from Oprah

– The Late Show with David Letterman